


Memento Mori

by SleepingAshes



Series: Overwatch Soulmate AU [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amputation, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Major Character Injury, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 19:31:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12688779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingAshes/pseuds/SleepingAshes
Summary: Roadhog liked to think the person he used to be was dead. Mako never would have done half the things Roadhog had; Mako never would have killed or stolen or hurt people for his own gain. Mako wasn’t fit for what the world had turned into so Roadhog killed him. Buried him deep and hoped he never had to think of the person he once was.





	Memento Mori

**Author's Note:**

> This got way too long so I'm splitting it up. This is also my first time writing Junkrat and Roadhog and it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, but I tried. This story is a part of my soulmate au so it follows the same rules as the other fics in this au: just the names on the arm type stuff. Nothing too special! Hope you all enjoy!

Roadhog liked to think the person he used to be was dead. Mako never would have done half the things Roadhog had; Mako never would have killed or stolen or hurt people for his own gain. Mako wasn’t fit for what the world had turned into so Roadhog killed him. Buried him deep and hoped he never had to think of the person he once was.

It worked for a while. He was kept busy trying to survive in the Outback. He didn’t have time to think about the life he left behind or the people he’d lost. Things were shit but it was almost a good thing. He could fully commit to the role of Roadhog and not have to worry about his past haunting him.

He found himself in Junkertown working as an enforcer for the makeshift civilization’s Queen. She was a bossy woman but she made all the right offers to keep Roadhog close to her. The queen made sure everything worked out and functioned well enough. No one could really complain-- mostly because if they did she’d have their head for it. Roadhog knew though, that if he stayed by her side, the rest of his miserable life would be easy.

He didn’t know why he didn’t like easy.

He couldn’t tell himself why he agreed to the dumbest offer he’d ever received.

Roadhog wasn’t Mako. Mako was a smart man whereas Roadhog had just proved himself Australia’s greatest idiot. It was too late to back out now though.

“I just knew you’d make the right decision!”

His new employer, some scrawny ass kid who called himself Junkrat, was saying. He was going on and on about how this job he had for Roadhog was definitely going to be a game changer and how he wouldn’t regret trusting him. Trust wasn’t the word Roadhog would use for this arrangement, but he didn’t bother correcting Junkrat. Junkrat didn’t seem like the type to listen to a word he’d say anyways.

The “mission” was relatively simple but it made sense why Junkrat needed back up. The guy was as skinny as a stick, there was no way he could fight his way out of a situation if things went bad. One look at Roadhog and most smart people would run the other way. He didn’t really care that he was there to be the brawns of the operation. He just hoped Junkrat swearing up and down that he was some sort of genius was at least remotely accurate.

Junkrat had found a group of Junkers that preferred not to be associated with Junkertown. It wasn’t exactly unusual to find groups outside of the area but Junkrat said they had money and parts on them and if they weren’t a part of Junkertown...well, they were free to steal from. No punishment from the queen, especially not if they presented her with their rewards. She’d get some and leave the rest to be split between the two of them. It was a fine idea in theory.

And it would have worked too if Roadhog hadn’t been working with an absolute maniac. No sooner had Junkrat finished going over his detailed plan did he single handedly blow the operation. He practically waltzed into enemy turf without a care in the world and started exploding things. Roadhog was honestly stunned for the first few seconds of it all.

_ This kid is an idiot, _ he decided. An idiot who’s ass he was going to have to save if he still wanted to get paid after all of this. He grunted and got to work. Keeping enemies as far away from Junkrat as he could, not like they could get close to him with all the explosives he was tossing around. It didn’t take long for the duo to eliminate most of the enemy Junkers. Whether it was by Roadhog actually putting effort into killing those people or Junkrat’s explosives happening to go off in people’s faces...well, neither could tell. It didn’t really matter at the end of the day.

“Well that went well!” Junkrat exclaimed, not at all bothered by the carnage around the pair. “Now let’s get what we came for, shall we?”

“You’re insane.” Roadhog said.

“Eh, I’ve been called worse. Now come on we don’t have all day.”

Roadhog reluctantly followed Junkrat to the Junkers’ stash of spare parts and money. His partner had been right about the stash at least. These guys were loaded. The queen would reward them nicely for even half of this. Especially Roadhog, he knew he’d get exceptionally good treatment.

“Hey you think that bike of yours is big enough to fit all this? I mean it’s kind of a lot, I don’t really know how we’re gonna get this in without the queen knowing.” Junkrat said, picking up some of the cash.

“What?”

“Whaddya mean what? You got ears under that ugly mask of yours?”

“We aren’t hiding this from the queen.”

“Uhh, yes we are? I found it so it’s mine.” Junkrat said, standing up straight and trying to size up Roadhog. It wasn’t working, but Junkrat didn’t care. “And I guess some of it  _ is _ yours but the queen isn’t getting any of this.”

“That’s against her rules.”

“So? I don’t care! It isn’t like she’ll find out!”

Roadhog wanted to say “she will” and “this is a horrible idea” but he found himself looking at the money instead. Instead of being a voice of reason like Mako would have been he ended up saying “You’re right” and they smuggled the money back into Junkertown. Instead of just testing his luck once, he kept leaving with Junkrat again and again. Always against his better judgement.

He couldn’t describe the feeling he got doing these stupid heists with Junkrat. Of course they both knew better than to pretend to come back empty handed every time, but they always kept the bulk of it to themselves and hid it well. The queen didn’t suspect anything and honestly that made it even better. Roadhog began actually looking forward to the days he’d spend with Junkrat.

The distractions were better with Junkrat. There was more to do, more people to hurt, more things to steal. The guy by himself was probably an idiot but they always seemed to find the jackpot when put together. Roadhog didn’t want to admit it to himself, but maybe he was becoming a bit too addicted to the rush of adrenaline he got when he fought with Junkrat.

“With all this cash we could live like kings!” Junkrat exclaimed proudly one night after a particularly big fight between the pair and some Junkers.

The duo had come out on top yet again and now claimed their victory prize.

“We could go places with this money!”

Roadhog gave his partner a curious look underneath the mask.

“Imagine, we’d be rich if we went to, I dunno, America or England or some place not as shit as here.” His partner said, “We could say screw the queen and run with all of this. Not to mention the goods we have hidden away and my personal treasure on top of it!”

Roadhog actually thought about it for a second. It wasn’t a horrible idea… It would probably be better to take what they have and run before the queen did catch on that they were hiding their riches from her. It could work if they played their cards right. Roadhog could continue chasing this new excitement on top of it all...there really wasn’t a reason not to do it. It wasn’t like he had a family to keep him there. Not anymore.

“Ok.” He decided.

He got a look of pure excitement from Junkrat.

“This is great! Always wanted to get off this garbage dump of a place!”

Roadhog simply hummed in agreement. Nothing was set in stone. It was going to be hard to make arrangements to leave Australia but it wasn’t impossible. They’d definitely have to set aside some of their money for it but in the grand scheme of things it would be worth it. Things were looking up for the first time since the apocalypse.

*

It had been a few months since the pair had begun working with each other. Now that they knew each other’s fighting styles a bit better they were a deadly team. Roadhog covered Junkrat’s lack of awareness and Junkrat somehow managed to always blow up the enemies and not himself. It worked. Roadhog honestly couldn’t complain.

They were supposed to be gone for a few days, as per request of the queen. She sent them out on this mission personally to retrieve some parts and money for her so this definitely wasn’t one of the times they could pocket some for themselves. That was fine, they had more than enough saved up and hidden away.

A few days in, Junkrat had seemed to run out of things to talk about and Roadhog was granted with at least an hour of peace and quiet. It was nice but all good things must come to an end. Junkrat perked up while they rested a bit before hitting the road again.

“Hey, you know something I noticed. You don’t have a soulmark do you?” Junkrat asked, looking closely at Roadhog. Well, as close as Roadhog would let him look.

In truth, Roadhog did have a soulmark. He had three in fact. One was the name of his wife before things went to hell. She wasn’t there anymore so he tried not to think about it. The other two were names of people he’d never met to his knowledge. It was easy to assume he didn’t have any though, as his tattoos and apparel he wore actually covered them up for the most part. One would only notice if they looked hard enough.

In response to Junkrat’s question, he simply shrugged.

“Well that’s not an answer.” Junkrat complained. “So I guess you don’t have any? I do. I have two. I can only read one though. Dunno what the other says at all.”

“Hmm.”

“I don’t really place anything in soulmates or shit like that anyways so I guess it doesn’t matter if you do or don’t have one. Not like you’d meet them out here anyways.”

“I guess.”

Junkrat sighed.

“You  _ guess _ a lot.” He complained. “How long have we been working together?”

“...five months.”

“Five months and all you do is  _ guess _ .”

“So?”

Junkrat rolled his eyes sighed again, this time far more dramatic than the last.

“I don’t even know your name and it’s been five months.” He said, catching Roadhog’s attention.

Was Junkrat trying to get to know him? Was that what this was all about? It was...odd, to say the least. But then again maybe it wasn’t. Maybe Junkrat thought they were friends or something and this was his way of affirming that idea. This could very well be his idea of bonding, even if Roadhog would call it prying.

“You know my name.” He said after a moment of thought. “Roadhog.”

“Yeah but that’s not your real name.”

“So?”

“So… We’re partners right?” Junkrat leaned in close, a stern look on his face. “Partners should know things about each other, I think.”

Roadhog simply grunted in response. It wasn’t an agreement, but Rat seemed to take it as one.

“My name’s Jamie, if you were wondering. But everyone calls me Junkrat, it’s better. I don’t think anyone actually calls me Jamie anymore.”

“Cool.”

“How about you? Your name?”

“Roadhog.”

Junkrat glared at him for a few seconds before sighing and backing up, giving Roadhog back his personal space. He made a noise of frustration but didn’t try to pry any further. Instead he seemed deep in thought about another topic to approach with Roadhog.

“Favorite color?” He asked after a moment, catching Roadhog off guard.

_ Seriously _ ? He was really asking stupid questions like this?

“What do you think.” Hog grunted out.

“I dunno you seem like a tough guy but that  _ could _ be a ruse. I’m gonna go with… pink?”

Roadhog actually had to stifle a laugh. Junkrat was actually right on the money. It was a struggle to stay quiet but he managed, despite the smile he had under his mask.

“Sure.” He said after a moment.

“That’s cool! I like orange. Reminds me of explosions.”

He _ would  _ say that. Maybe...maybe Junkrat’s prying wasn’t so bad. It might not hurt to indulge him just a bit. It wasn’t like Junkrat was going to ask for his life story after all. If he stuck with the innocent questions this probably wouldn’t end too bad.

“Figures you’d like it for that reason.”

“Hey I’m not that predictable.” Junkrat claimed, seemingly offended.

“You are to me.”

Junkrat scoffed.

“Well I bet you like pink cuz pigs are pink. How’s that for predictable?”

“Fair enough.” Roadhog grumbled, though that wasn’t exactly why he liked the color. It didn’t matter, it was an innocent enough reason that Junkrat bought. “...You like orange. That mean you like red too?”

“Sure do.” His partner proudly said. “Red, orange, yellow. All great.”

“Never would have guessed.”

“I’m a man of many mysteries.”

“I can see that.”

“Do you like orange? Goes nice with pink.”

“Hmm… Sure.”

“How old are you anyways?” Junkrat asked randomly, again leaning in a bit too close for comfort. “I just realized I’ve never seen you without that mask. So I don’t know how old you look.”

“My age doesn’t really matter. I can still fight.”

“That’s not why I was asking.”

Roadhog tilted his head to the side, curious.

“Oh. Why?”

“I want to know.”

“That’s not a good enough reason.”

“I’m twenty two. No wait! Twenty three. I forgot. Yeah, twenty three.”

“...Forty six.”

“Wow!” Junkrat let out a loud laugh, “Not what I was expecting!”

“Hm. Happy now?”

“Yeah. I am.”

There was something about the way Junkrat was the rest of the night that came off as rather endearing to Roadhog. Junkrat seemed...comfortable. Not that he didn’t already act rather comfortable in the presence of Roadhog, but he was less fidgety for once. He didn’t ramble and managed some actual peace and quiet that didn’t seem to drive the younger man crazy. Roadhog wasn’t sure they accomplished a lot of bonding that day but it seemed to be more than enough for Junkrat.

It was...nice.

*

Nice things never last. Roadhog should have known better than to really think things would be smooth sailing in the future. The queen wasn’t an idiot. She found him and Rat’s stash of money and made the obvious connection. For as much as the two had been going out lately they often came back empty handed, or so she’d been told. It was a nice run while it lasted, Roadhog figured.

He thought they’d be kicked out and be done with but no, the queen had been crueler than that. If they were going to take from her, she’d just have to take from them in return. Not only had she taken all of their riches, but she took Junkrat’s leg as well. It was a threat mostly to Roadhog. If he chose Junkrat over her...well, she’d make sure there was less of Junkrat to stick around with.

That brought the Junker duo to the present. Junkrat was recovering, or at least Roadhog hoped he was. He was suffering from the blood loss and pain but he hadn’t died yet. That had to be a good sign… It had only been three days since their exile from Junkertown but Roadhog liked to think if his partner was still alive then the most of his worries could pass.

Through the pain and blood loss, Junkrat managed to get out a few coherent sentences. Something about their plan to get out of Australia still being able to work. Junkrat had a secret treasure after all. He’d spoken about it time and time again...Roadhog figured there had to be something true to it. He followed the man’s directions but Junkrat was near delirious. Too many days were passing and they hadn’t found it yet.

Roadhog wasn’t a doctor, he couldn’t really help Junkrat beyond shoving food and water down his throat to keep him from dehydrating or starving. He knew they’d need that treasure to get to America or Europe or Asia-- anywhere that they could find a real doctor to properly care for Junkrat. After he’d recover they’d need money for a prosthetic on top of that… This treasure better be worth the hassle, that was all.

Two more days passed before they finally found it. Junkrat was more coherent but still extremely vulnerable. He seemed to understand the weight of the situation he was in finally, and hadn’t reacted to the realization that his leg was gone very well. But Roadhog kept him calm. He knew how to do that, he’d done it before for his wife when she’d have panic attacks. This was different but Junkrat seemed to calm down considerably when he realized Roadhog had chosen him over Junkertown. Over the queen and a comfortable life.

He couldn’t understand why though. Hell, Roadhog didn’t know exactly why he decided to stick with a guy who just had his leg cut off. But here they were, Junkrat alive and recovering at the site of his buried treasure.

Roadhog set Junkrat down and looked around. Junkrat said there would be something to mark just where it was buried. Despite his partner’s ability to come up with some interesting ideas, the marker ended up being a simple stick poking up out of the ground. Roadhog grunted and got to work tearing up the land to get to this treasure.

He found a box. A box definitely not big enough to fit hundreds or thousands of dollars in. He ignored how his heart was racing and opened the box, hoping to find even just a little bit of money inside that could help their situation. Inside the box were some photos, nothing more nothing less.

The photos were of Junkrat, or Jamie, when he was a kid. Before things had gotten too bad. He was happy, he was with his mother in the photos. Against his better judgement, Roadhog looked through all of them. He no longer hoped to magically find money or anything of real value, he just looked at the pictures and remembered his own life.

He’d had similar pictures once before but he’d burned them all to crush the sentimental side of himself. Mako. Seeing these pictures now, he remembered his wife. His daughter. How crushed he’d been when he learned of their deaths. How much he’d cried. It all came rushing back to him and he hated it.

He carefully put the pictures back in the box and sat there for a moment, looking at the sun above them. There was no money to be found, so they were stuck there. Junkrat was likely not going to make it if Roadhog couldn’t get him to a doctor. It would be his old life all over again. Why had he decided to take a chance with Junkrat? Did he really think things would be any different?

“Hog?” Junkrat’s quiet voice didn’t do anything to distract the bigger man from his thoughts.

Roadhog stood without a word and began walking. Away from Junkrat, his treasure, and the stupid choices he’s made. Junkrat panicked behind him, unable to move much to keep up with him.

“Hog!” Junkrat was far more panicked now. “Don’t you leave!”

The further Roadhog walked, the louder Junkrat began screaming at him.

“Don’t leave me here!”

Roadhog ended up walking far enough away that he could only just barely hear Junkrat screaming in the distance. He stopped and stood there for a moment, and then everything came crashing down on him. He tossed his mask off and for the first time since the apocalypse, he let himself feel _ everything _ .

All of the pain and sorrow he tried to kill alongside Mako came rushing back. It hurt, it hurt worse than any physical wound he’d ever received. He didn’t want to think about his dead family, his wife and his daughter and how happy they’d been. How his daughter truly was the light of their lives. She was so young but she’d had plans, she wanted to do so much and she never got the chance to even try. And Junkrat was just going to die too, right?

Mako stayed there for a long time, letting the emotions wash over him. He yelled, he cried, he hit the ground until his knuckles bled. It was almost dark when he came back to himself. Junkrat had long since stopped yelling for him to come back. He wondered if he was dead.

Picking up his mask, Roadhog turned and decided to go back. He couldn’t do anything for his wife or daughter but he could try to help Junkrat still. As long as his partner was still there, Mako would try for him.

He found Junkrat where he’d left him. The man was clutching onto the contents of the box, wrinkling the pictures. He glared at Roadhog as he approached but said nothing about how the older man had left him there for hours.

“I’ll sell them. I’ll sell my treasure. You’ll see. It’s not over.” Junkrat said with conviction.

“No.” Roadhog said. “Keep it. It’s  _ your _ treasure. No one else’s.”

“How are we gonna get away then?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

*

The pair was due to land in America soon. They’d found passage on a rather sketchy ship full of criminals but it worked out. They’d made it work so far. Junkrat didn’t exactly like sailing as much as he thought he would, but he kept himself distracted enough. He worked on a better prosthetic for his leg than the hastily put together one he’d initially made for himself.

Roadhog relaxed after a what felt like a long, long time. Getting the money needed for this wasn’t easy but they’d done it. They’d robbed enough Junkers and booked it before word could spread too fast. Things were looking up again, but Roadhog would be lying if he said he wasn’t skeptical.

The two had an area on the ship all to themselves, but to be honest they had to stay a bit on alert just because of who they were surrounded by. When Roadhog was by Junkrat, almost no one approached them so he decided it was best if he spent his time relaxing near his partner. Junkrat was working away on his new leg with Roadhog handing him tools every now and then.

“Wrench,” Junkrat requested, holding his hand out.

Mako grunted and grabbed the wrench. He was about to hand it to Junkrat when something caught his eye. Junkrat’s soulmark. They’d spoken about soulmarks just a few times before but never in detail. Roadhog hadn’t wanted to. But Junkrat had casually informed him he had two...just not the two names themselves. He certainly hadn’t expected to see his name on Junkrat’s arm though. That was definitely a surprise.

He leaned in a little to get a better look. There was no mistaking it. That was his name.  _ Mako Rutledge _ . Junkrat didn’t take notice to his partner’s sudden interest in his soulmark and instead waved his hand in front of Mako’s face.

“ _ Wrench _ !”

Roadhog handed him the wrench this time but didn’t take his eyes away from the mark. Mako had three names of his own… One he couldn’t read but was looking eerily similar to the other name on Junkrat’s arm, and one that spelled out  _ Jamison Fawkes _ . He recalled Junkrat had said his name was Jamie before...it wasn’t a wild idea that maybe Jamie was short for something.

“Rat.” Roadhog said to get at least half of the other man’s attention.

Junkrat made a noise of acknowledgement.

“Your name is Jamie right?”

“Mmhm.” Junkrat glanced over for a moment. “Jamie. Well, Jamison. But no one ever called me that I don’t think. Mostly Jamie.”

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

“Not a very common name.”

“I guess not. I wouldn’t know. Hey why’re you asking so much about this?”

“...I figured it was a nice bonding activity.”

“Makes sense.”

Junkrat sighed and set down the prosthetic.

“Not that you’d ever tell me  _ your  _ name though.”

“It’s not Roadhog. For starters.”

“No shit.” Rat said, rolling his eyes.

Roadhog suppressed a smile under the mask.

“You never tell me anything important.” Junkrat complained.

“One day maybe.”

The earned him a curious look.

“Ok...well… Maybe not your name but tell me something about yourself before...Roadhog.”

Mako sat for a moment in thought. He could have told Junkrat anything and he’d have to buy it. He could have said he was a businessman, a chef, hell, a ballerina. But he’d decided maybe baring his soul to Jamie wasn’t the worst thing in the world. If just a little…

“Before all of this… I had my own treasure.”

“Oh?”

“Hmm. I got rid of it thinking it would make me stronger.”

“Did it?”

“No. It didn’t. I miss my treasure.”

Junkrat gave him a sympathetic look.

“I could share mine with you?”

“No. Don’t worry about it. I have memories still.”

“What was your treasure about?” Junkrat asked as he turned back to working on the prosthetic.

“...My wife. My daughter.”

He didn’t miss the way Junkrat paused his movement when Roadhog admitted that. For a second Roadhog worried if he’d been wrong to confess something that important, but Junkrat faked a cough and got back to work, assuring Roadhog that it wasn’t some big mistake.

“I don’t know anything about wives or daughters.” His partner said. “But uh...I can see why that would be important to you. Like how my mom was important to me.”

“Right. It’s like that.”

“Since you don’t have that treasure anymore, I guess we have to get you a new one though.”

“Hmm?”

“We’ll find something in the states maybe? I don’t know. I didn’t think that far.”

“Just what are you going on about now?”

“I want you to have something too.”

Roadhog supposed this was Junkrat’s way of being sentimental. It was a nice gesture, really. He couldn’t complain since Junkrat was trying to be nice by suggesting this. He nodded, accepting the offer.

“Sure.”

“There. Something to look forward to when we get off this hellship.”

“Right. Something to look forward to.”

*

Their first heist was, in all honesty, very poorly thought out. Roadhog didn’t know why he thought that just maybe they’d be normal citizens when they reached America. Junkrat definitely didn’t have any intention of trying to be normal and really...Roadhog was relieved in the end. Maybe he’d gotten too used to his old job as an enforcer..

Either way. America was a lot different than Australia. They had state of the art technology and a lot of police officers… Way different than anything Junkrat had been expecting. Despite how they were taken by surprise, they were on their way to winning the fight. The officers obviously hadn’t dealt with Junkers before. Roadhog and Junkrat weren’t petty thieves like they’d thought.

“Aaand, it’s ready.” Junkrat smiled like a maniac as he held up an explosive. “Let’s see how they like this one!”

Junkrat tossed the explosive at the officers and waited three seconds for the big _ boom _ to follow. The explosion allowed for enough cover and disorientation among the police that the Junkers escaped with the money they’d stolen. They made it back to their safehouse with little trouble.

Roadhog dumped the sack of cash on the table they had smirked. Despite the difficulties with the police, this was definitely considered a successful heist.

“Would ya look at that!” Junkrat cackled and picked up a wad of cash. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much money in my life! We’re gonna make it just fine here!”

“No kidding.”

Really this was enough to set them up for a long while but Roadhog knew Junkrat by now. This wasn’t going to be enough. It never was for Junkrat. He liked the rush of danger and Roadhog would be lying if he said he didn’t understand the feeling.

“Where next?” Junkrat asked, looking at Roadhog with a crazed look in his eyes. “We have to do this again. Soon. Like, now, soon.”

“Be patient. We might have to lay low until the police forget about us.”

“Lay low? Where’s the fun in that! What am I gonna do with all this energy then?”

Roadhog tried to think of a productive response but with his own adrenaline filled brain, he couldn’t think of one. Instead of maybe carefully planning out their next heist or even putting the energy to working on new weapons for next time, his suggestion was far more crude.

One minute they were standing there and the next they were breaking the bed with how rough they wound up fucking. It had been too long since Roadhog felt that kind of pleasure and honestly if they could do this again, he would in a heartbeat. Junkrat was very different from any other partner he’d had in the past but that added to how good the experience was.

Jamie was loud and demanding, the words he said were flat out filthy. It definitely helped bring Mako over the edge quicker than he’d wanted. That hadn’t seemed to bother Junkrat though, he apparently had enough stamina to keep going if Roadhog did. Roadhog mentally decided that this would be a battle to see who could last longer. Junkrat seemed to pick up on that and it made for a fun night. Neither did much actual sleeping but that was fine at the end of the day. They had time.

*

Their heists got bigger and better as time passed. It didn’t take long for them to become wanted criminals but that didn’t stop them from stealing. In fact it added to the fun of it all. They’d gotten caught once or twice but jail was nothing for the two of them. They always broke out. The police couldn’t contain them. In fact, Roadhog was beginning to think the police couldn’t even _ touch _ them.

He was wrong. He was very, very wrong.

The smoke from the exploded building was making it hard for him to breathe, even with his mask on. There was just so much of it and what had Junkrat been thinking setting off that bomb so close to them? He was going to strangle his partner when he found him.

Roadhog stood, looking around for Junkrat. He couldn’t see anyone easily with all the smoke but he figured Rat couldn’t be that far away… He stepped over the unconscious or dead officers in his search of Junkrat. He was getting slightly worried that he didn’t hear his partners manic laughter or even him just loudly exclaiming what an amazing explosion that had been.

Roadhog was about to call out for his partner when he heard a gunshot. It sounded like a shotgun. It definitely wasn’t Rat, but he followed the noise hook in hand in case he needed to fight off an attacker. What he found enraged him.

Junkrat was covered in blood, clutching his arm. Or what was left of it. It was a truly disgusting sight. His arm was just barely connected to the elbow and honestly if Roadhog hadn’t been there when Jamie’s leg was cut off, he probably would have gotten sick at the sight. He saw an officer with a shotgun not too far away from Junkrat, readying the gun for another shot.

Roadhog shouted in anger and hooked him. The man dropped the gun in his pain and was dragged closer to Roadhog. He decided he wasn’t going to show this man the mercy of a quick death. He didn’t even reach for his scrap gun. Instead he immediately grabbed the man by the head and plunged his fingers into his eye sockets. The officer screamed in pain but no one came to help him.

When the man’s screams died down into small whimpers and cries for help, Mako finally snapped his neck. He left the body and made his way to Junkrat, carefully moving his partner to get a better look at his arm.

He didn’t know what to do. They couldn’t leave it like that. They just couldn’t. It was dangling there, it couldn’t be saved. But Roadhog couldn’t just rip it off or anything like that. Not only would that be excruciatingly painful for Junkrat, he could mess up the situation worse if he just tore it off.

Junkrat wasn’t able to bite back tears of pain. He was a mess. It was just like when he’d lost his leg, only no one had been kind enough to close the wound for him this time around. The danger was far more real. They didn’t have time like they did before. Roadhog had to _ think _ .

“Fuck, Hog, it hurts!” Junkrat sobbed.

“I know, I know…” Roadhog was beginning to panic. He heard the groans of the officers around them. If they woke up it would all be over.  _ Think, think, think _ !

“Just fucking rip it off, I don’t care!”

“I can’t do that!” Roadhog snapped.

Roadhog looked around them for something, anything. His eyes fell on his hook. It was sharp. He could cut the rest of the arm off and they could run. He was sure Junkrat had something that could start a fire on him. He’d cauterize the wound… It could work. In theory, it could work.

“Jamie.” Roadhog said, catching Junkrat’s full attention. “Do you trust me?”

Junkrat nodded. Of course he trusted Roadhog. He had to. His life was in his partner’s hands…

“This is going to hurt.” He warned as he held up his hook.

Junkrat screamed at the feeling of Roadhog’s hooks cutting through his flesh. It was worse than the shotgun, he’d decided. This was slower. It was agonizing. He wanted it to stop. He needed it to. Jamie wasn’t sure how much more he could sit through. Sure, he didn’t mind some pain here and there but this was just too much.

Things were getting blurry and he was pretty sure he wasn’t even screaming anymore. Nothing made sense but that was ok because the pain was going away.

*

When Junkrat woke up next, he was in Shanghai. Not that he knew that right off the bat. He was incredibly confused and out of sorts when he first woke up but he was alive. He figured that was something and he probably shouldn’t question how he got where he was so long as it meant he was still living. His arm hurt but not nearly as bad as before. In fact it had just become a dull ache.

“Where the…?” He grumbled, sitting up.

He was greeted by a doctor and Roadhog. Maybe Hog had been there the whole time and he was just now noticing him, he really didn’t know. He couldn’t see Hog’s face but from his body language he could tell he wasn’t happy.

The doctor did a lot of talking. Lots of stuff Junkrat didn’t have a clue about but apparently he’d been out for a while now. He’d drifted in and out of consciousness until eventually he just...stopped waking up. Maybe that was why Roadhog seemed so sour? Junkrat managed to pay attention to most of what the doctor said after that.

His arm was obviously gone but they were more than willing to offer a prosthetic. Junkrat would have preferred to make his own but...well...he couldn’t with his one arm. His arm needed a bit more healing but within the month he’d be able to start the process of getting his new arm. The doctor offered a ‘better’ prosthetic for his leg but Junkrat declined. He liked his leg. He’d made it, after all.

After a few more things, the doctor left Junkrat and Roadhog alone. Vaguely, Junkrat processed how odd it was for him to be in a real hospital. Had his condition really been that bad? How the hell was he in an official hospital anyways? They were wanted criminals.

“Alright so...where are we?” Junkrat asked. They definitely weren’t in America anymore...no one would help them there.

“China.” Roadhog said. “Paid the doctor a lot to keep quiet and help.”

“And he’s just fine with that?”

“People are easy to bribe with money.”

“Ok…” Junkrat scrunched his face up, trying to figure out what was off about Roadhog.

On top of the body language, it was something else… He seemed distant? Not just physically but in the way he spoke too.

“I did something, didn’t I?” Junkrat asked.

“How could you have done something. You were busy dying.” Roadhog sounded tired as he spoke. Like he didn’t want to have this conversation.

“Then why are you so...like that.”

“Like what, Junkrat.”

“Look I’m not an idiot.” Junkrat claimed. “You’re acting weird.”

Roadhog scoffed.

“You don’t know a damn thing.”

“Maybe I don’t.” Junkrat said, frowning. “So explain it to me.”

“No.” Roadhog said, standing. “I’ll be back later.”

Without another word, Roadhog left. Junkrat actually worried he wasn’t coming back for a moment before he remembered Hog at least said he’d come back. Not when...but he’d be back.

*

Things changed and Junkrat hated it. They’d been together over a year now. Close to two. They’d made a lot of progress as a team if their nighttime escapades were anything to go by. But all of that had stopped. All of the affection and the teasing, the joking, it all stopped. Roadhog was hardly speaking to Junkrat. It was worse than when they first teamed up.

Junkrat’s memory wasn’t the best with a lot of things but he knew Roadhog never treated him this coldly before. Not consistently, anyways. He had his days but that was fine. This? This had been going on for a solid month. Junkrat didn’t understand and Roadhog wasn’t helping him at all. Nothing made sense and Junkrat hated it.

They hadn’t been on any heists since Junkrat’s recovery with his newest prosthetic. They were still in China, and while laying low was boring Junkrat didn’t argue when Roadhog suggested it. Well...it was more like he ordered it. Junkrat was trying to stay on Roadhog’s good side so he didn’t argue it at the time.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t bored out of his mind though. Laying low definitely wasn’t his thing and Roadhog knew that. Sure he could try to occupy himself with building new things but that wasn’t as fun if the explosives weren’t going to be used. They just sat there in the safehouse that Roadhog barely came back to.

Junkrat thought giving Roadhog space would help but it made things worse. He wasn’t a good talker but he wanted to try to sort things out with Roadhog. He’d admit it. Roadhog was important to him. He’d grown on Jamie a lot. If Roadhog asked him, he’d say it all. He didn’t have shame and he really thought Roadhog didn’t either.

He managed to catch Roadhog one evening, just as the man came back from wherever he went off to. Roadhog tried not to pay Junkrat any attention but that was hard with how loud Junkrat could be.

“Hey! Hog! Listen to me!” Junkrat was trying his best and eventually, Roadhog sighed and stood there, waiting for Junkrat to go on. “Finally! Took you long enough!”

Roadhog said nothing so Jamie took this as a sign to continue.

“We gotta talk about things, I think.”

“You think.”

“Yeah. I do. I’m trying to let you sort out whatever it is that’s going on but I don’t know, it’s not working.”

“So?”

“So  _ talk to me _ .”

“What am I supposed to talk to you about.”

Junkrat sighed heavily.

“I don’t know! Whatever is bothering you? That’s what partners do right?”

“Not the kind of partners we are.” Roadhog said.

“I don’t think you get to say that after some of the things we’ve done.” Junkrat muttered, not liking the way Roadhog tensed up at the mention of it all. “Look, you’ve fucked my brains out before I think you can talk to me about your feelings or whatever.”

“It was just sex. That doesn’t mean a fucking thing.”

“Sure. But you still told me things before.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to now.”

Junkrat made a noise of frustration.

“Why! Tell me why you won’t talk to me! You did before and don’t act like you didn’t!”

“You could die at any time. Why should I trust you with anything if you can’t guarantee to live until tomorrow? You’ll end up like everyone else. You’ll die.”

The confession earned Hog a look. One of confusion at first, but gradually Junkrat understood the bigger picture here. It made sense Roadhog was upset about him kind of almost dying but he hadn’t considered that it brought up bad memories for him. His wife and daughter were probably on his mind a lot when Junkrat had been unconscious.

“So what?” Junkrat said, not missing how visibly angry everything about Roadhog got.

“So what?” Roadhog echoed, clearly pissed.

“Yeah. So fucking what. You could die too but I’m not gonna take it out on you.”

Roadhog grabbed at his hook, but Junkrat knew he wouldn’t use it on him.

“I’m not an idiot. You have problems too. Sure I lost a fucking arm, but so what? I’m alive. I don’t have breathing problems like I  _ know _ you do. You don’t say anything about it but I notice it. Don’t get pissed at me for almost kicking the bucket when you could too.”

“That’s not the same.”

“It could be though! What if something happened?! I wouldn’t fuck off and leave you so don’t think you get to do that to me!”

Roadhod was quiet for a moment. He forgot about his hook and frowned under the mask.

“I care about you ok? I do. I care a lot. So if it was you I would be there. I’m trying right now because of all that.” Junkrat was clearly getting frustrated and things were getting harder to properly phrase but he was putting in effort. Roadhog could see that.

“I know.” Roadhog finally said. “I know you care. I care too. Things got hard and I didn’t know what to do but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Life fucking sucks mate. But it isn’t my fault. Not all the time.”

“Yeah. It’s not.”

Roadhog sighed.

“I didn’t know what I’d do if you died. I still don’t. It bothers me.”

“Don’t think about it then.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Yeah, but I’m not dead. So don’t think about it till I’m dead, if you can.”

Mako wished it was that easy. He wished all of this was easier. Talking about what he really felt for Junkrat, accepting it fully on his end, knowing how to handle death-- all of it. He wished he could get a grip and figure it out. He was forty seven at this point. He should be the one lecturing Jamie, not the other way around.

“I’ll try.” He settled on. “I’m sorry.”

“Ah, it’s fine. It’s done now. Right?”

“Right.”

“And things can go back to normal?”

Hog nodded.

Things would go back to normal. Well, as normal as it got for them.


End file.
